The best course of action, Dr. Krupka says, will depend on this question we started with: Is this a case of your colleagues letting their curiosity overwhelm them and becoming unaware, even irresponsible, in how they handle what might seem like unusual information. Or do those lively co-workers take pleasure in scandal and treat you with contempt?
Once you’ve determined that, you’ll be ready to respond. But before you do that, it is worth remembering that this terrain is not unknown here. you are not alone. Yes, this is a position that includes unusual specifics, but in a broader sense, it is a fairly regular work experience.
“You see the problem is with a criminal history, when in fact the problem is with gossip about you. It’s upsetting that a lot of us feel in the workplace if someone knows something shameful about us, especially regarding our personal lives,” said Dr. Krupka.
“It’s not uncommon. You have a right to your mistakes and delinquency. We all do.”
So what do you do?
If you feel that fellow gossipers are rational people who don’t realize that their actions are hurting you, you may want to tell them how the gossip affects you. It is up to you whether you disclose additional details about the incident to help them understand your situation.
If you feel that they are acting maliciously and will not respond to adult discussions, you may still want to talk, but perhaps with a trusted colleague.
The common problem is the problem in half, plus an “ally or support system,” as Dr. Krupka put it, can help you find the best way to raise your concerns (and avoid the need to flee) — with a whisper themselves or with someone in authority in the organization.
There are so many potential options here and it would be impossible to go through them all, so I’ll finish with some general but important advice from Dr. Krupka: Whatever you do next – whatever you share, if anything at all – don’t do it. Don’t do it to please someone else.
“The motivation for disclosing anything should be to make you comfortable, rather than justifying yourself to people who talk about you with very little information on a topic they know almost nothing about.”
Originally published at Melbourne News Vine
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